Looking Ahead, Looking Back – Writings of Kate V. Scott

Looking Ahead

This unfinished poem and notes are reproduced below just as Kate typed them, probably in the 1960’s. Her note before the poem indicates that it is not her original draft, and her note afterwards indicates that she intended to modify it further.

Carli Scott

DRAFT

(because original paper too tattered and torn)

Death, let me love you. Let the golden glow

Which lives beyond the darkened walls of life

Illuminate and richen this short time

I live and work and wonder.

Let me seek the what-will-be and leave

The what-is-now.

No, not too soon. This world has challenges, too.

I love its many masks. But seeing through

The haze of here the blaze of there, I wish

I knew what form that is—or lack of form,

Perhaps. I’d love to know whose guess is right;

Which prophet or which church, which poet, seer,

Or unwarned, visioned one has glimpsed the truth.

Or do their earth-dimmed eyes deny them faith

In what their spirits see?

not finished. May want to change lines to looser form

Looking Back

Kate died at home the evening of September 17, 2014. She left instructions that the following letter should be read at her funeral instead of a eulogy. She went on to decree that none of her family or friends should be asked to participate in the service in any way, saying she felt that would be “a sad, difficult, and unnecessary duty for loved ones.”

Carli Scott

Cherished family and friends,

Please let this be a time of comfort and even joy. I have lived for some time with the consciousness of coming death. I always have felt that the only thing promised us at birth is death. As a Christian, I consider this a blessing.

My life has been exceptionally happy.

Adoption by strong and loving parents
A beloved extended family
Gratifying school years
Years of stimulating jobs
A marriage my husband, Bucher, and I both considered happier than any other marriage ever had been or ever would be
The family we always wanted—Alex, our son, and Carli, our daughter—both exceptionally bright children, then adults, of whom we could be proud
Belize looms large as a major blessing in my life. We came here for three months more than half a century ago. The Belize world was slow-paced and gracious; the climate, benign; the people welcoming. Through the years my heart was filled with love for the gracious friends I made among foreigners and Belizeans, clerks and stevedores, bank tellers and boatmen.
Boats—we always had boats. Our lives revolved around the sun and the sea, the reef and the cayes.
Dogs—we always had at least one dog. One after the other they gallumphed into our lives and our hearts.

The one tragedy in my life was Bucher’s early death. The love we shared carried me through the years without him. More by accident than by intent I found myself traveling almost annually. The number of countries I visited surprised even me.

The last years were quiet. I was alone but not lonely. I do not know now how death came for me, but I know that I was ready for it. Faith is the cushion of both life and death.